


Little Acts of Heroism

by eddiewrites307



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Bonding, Dean Winchester Needs a Hug, Feels, M/M, Mild Cursing, Not hunters, War - briefly, allusions to depressive spirals, it ends well i promise, its cute i swear, its not really the main focus, sam is a good bro, there's an angel war, weird au that I can't quite describe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:20:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26270278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eddiewrites307/pseuds/eddiewrites307
Summary: At the end of a great battle, Dean is forced to leave his lover Castiel behind to return to his family, but it ends up being much more difficult than anticipated
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 32





	Little Acts of Heroism

Dean took in the chaos and bloodshed around him, feeling the deep ache in his bones and the sweat dripping from his skin. The fight had taken so much, and he had almost been killed, but Michael was  _ dead  _ damnit, and that’s all that mattered, and he and Cas could --

Oh god.

_ Cas. _

Dean took off running through the crowd of the fighting and the wounded, calling out Cas’ name until his throat burned from inhaling dust and ruin, until desperate tears filled his eyes and his nails dug into his palms, until he stopped, falling to his knees and screaming out his name once more, praying to a god he no longer believed in that his angel was ok.

“ _ Dean! _ ”   


And there he was, bruised and bloodied and alive, silver blade hanging loosely from his hand as he ran towards Dean, clear relief written all over his face. Dean stood just as Cas collided into him in a desperate embrace more than a hug, the two clinging to each other with the last of their strength as they openly sobbed, reveling in the fact that they were  _ alive _ , they were fucking  _ alive _ , and the fight was over.

It was finally over.

“I killed him,” Dean gasped out, clutching Cas impossibly tighter. “I killed him, it’s done, I can go home, I can…” he trailed off, pulling away to catch the sadness flicker across Cas’ face before it was replaced by a weary smile.

Cas. Cas, who when Dean had left his home to fight in the goddamn war of angels, had taken him in. Cas, who taught him how to fight said angels, opponents who were stronger and faster, and how to come out victorious. Cas, who was always there with a cautiously kind word, a kiss to the head, a quick healing of a wound. Cas, who Dean had fallen entirely in love with.

Cas, who had to stay behind, and help the remaining angels find their way.

“I have to go home,” Dean said, differently this time, his hand coming up to find Cas’ face. “Cas, baby, I -”   


“I know, Dean,” Cas cut off, taking Dean's hand and holding it close, kissing the palm. “I will not be what comes between you and your family. Go.”   


Dean didn’t move, couldn’t move. He couldn’t let go of his angel, not after everything, he  _ wouldn’t. _

Cas simply smiled at Dean’s reluctance, a small, broken smile. “Go,” he repeated. “And remember me.”   


~   


Home wasn’t the same as it once was.

Dean was greeted with love and tears, joy and celebration, but all he could feel was the gaping hole in his chest that widened with every step he took. It wasn’t that he didn’t love being home, on the contrary, he had missed his mom and brother more than anything. But Cas wasn’t here, and that fact was all he could think about.

He knew he was worrying his family, hell, he was worrying himself. Meals were becoming harder and harder to choke down, long nights resulted in rapidly darkening bags under his eyes, and he wandered through the old house like a ghost, silent, not able to rejoin the life he had once known. Not after everything, not after Cas.

But this was his family. He had to be with his family. Right?   


~

“We all thought you were gonna die, you know.”    


Dean looked up from where he had sat, head in his hands, to see his brother Sam lingering in his bedroom doorway, smiling slightly. Dean rolled his eyes. “Thanks, bitch. That’s a comforting thought.”   


“Jerk,” Sam shot back, wandering further into the room and sitting down besides Dean, jostling him with his bony elbow. “Besides, that’s not what I mean. No human had come back from the Angel War, you know? Not in one piece, anyway. Then you went off, willingly, because of some damn prophecy, and I thought, ‘Oh. I’m going to lose my brother’.” He smiled, a little too strained, and continued. “Then I heard that the war ended, that you killed Michael, and I was so goddamn relieved Dean, you have no idea. All that I knew was that my big brother was alive, and that he would come home. But you’re not, are you?”   


Dean’s head jerked up, and he looked at Sam with wide eyes, whose smile became more genuine. 

“You’re different, Dean,” he said softly. “You’re quiet. Withdrawn. It’s not anger, I’ve seen you angry, you just seem...broken. I don’t know what happened out there, and I’m sure I’ll never know the extent of it, but you left something behind. Part of yourself.” He watched Dean with those too-old eyes for a moment in silence. “What was their name?”   


Dean choked on air. “What?”   


“Their name, Dean,” Sam asked again, breaking his serious mask to deliver one of his famous bitchfaces. “The person you left behind. I’m not stupid, you know. Neither is mom.”

“I know,” Dean said softly. A beat passed. “His name was Cas. Castiel, really. He…” he hesitated, then soldiered on. “He was an angel. He led the rebellion against Michael.”   


“He must’ve been special.” There was no judgement in Sam’s voice.   


“He was, the bastard,” Dean laughed, a little brokenly, a little relieved. “He taught me how to fight angels and win, how to use their strength against them and use their weapons. I would’ve died without him.” The dam broke, and suddenly Dean was babbling, words tripping over themselves to get out. “He was so oblivious. Pop culture and sarcasm went right over his head. He acted like a puppy sometimes, following me around, asking me questions about what it was like to be human. He hates eating, says everything tastes like molecules, and if you let him he’ll never stop protecting you. I loved him,” Dean said finally, nails digging into his palms as he stared blankly at the ceiling. “Damnit, I  _ love _ him.”   


“Then what are you doing here, dumbass?” Sam snorted. Dean turned to him in shock, and Sam rolled his eyes. “Don’t give me that face. You’re here physically, but mentally you’re still with him, yeah? So shouldn’t you just pull yourself back together and go to him?”   


Dean blinked. “But you and Mom, you need me.”   


Sam shoved him. “I’m a grown ass man, Dean, and Mom is a grown ass woman. We can hold our own. But for the record, I wanna meet this guy, and I’m sure Mom will want to too.”

“You want me to go,” Dean said dumbly, and Sam’s face softened.

“I want you to do what’s best for you,” he said softly. “And that’s being with Cas.”

Dean looked at Sam, searching his eyes for something he couldn’t name, and he nodded.

~   


Cas was training fledgling warriors in a field, dirt smeared across his cheekbones and his sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms.

He was the most beautiful thing Dean had ever seen.

He wasted no time in calling out, “Cas!”   


Cas’ head snapped towards him, and those blue eyes widened as the angel quickly dismissed his students, striding up to Dean as quickly as he could. “Dean,” he breathed once he was close. “But your family?”   


“They’re fine, Cas, they’re fine,” Dean reassured him. “But, I just…” he trailed off. There were a thousand things he wanted to say.

_ I love you. _

_ I can’t breathe without you. _

_ You’re my everything. _

But all he could manage was, “I missed you.”   


And Cas, beautiful, perfect Cas, knew, and understood. He smiled. “I missed you too, Dean.”   


Dean felt a smile take over his face, so wide it hurt. “So I can stay?”   


Cas pulled him close, a mimic of their embrace at the end of the battle, but softer, sweeter. “See if I ever let you go again.”   


**Author's Note:**

> Written for superduckbatrebel on Tumblr, and filled with artistic liberties


End file.
